the end of an anchor

so hand me the rocks, to help weigh me down
and tether my legs with a cord tightly bound
to the end of an anchor, thrown into the sound
and test me to see if I will rise against the worst that it can get

–––––––

last weekend my father was hospitalized when his oxygen levels went dangerously low. scary low. should i pack my bag and drive up in the middle of the night low. he pulled thru and spent a few days in the hospital recovering.

i made the drive up on thursday with the intention of helping penny clean out the rest of my parents house and visiting with my parents. things don't always go as planned tho, do they? my dad was released on wednesday, but not for long. his doctor advised him to consider transferring permanently back into the VA hospital for hospice care. for those of you, like me, who don't know what that is, try googling it. "end-of-life care". the doctor has given him 6 to 8 months to live.

we moved him into the hospice program at the VA on friday. i wasn't really prepared for it. i didn't realize it would be a hospital room... the one he'll be in until he dies. we slowly brought some of his belongings over and hung photos and made it a little more homey. then the task remained of cleaning out the apartment we had just moved them into a month ago. where is my mom living? well, 2 weeks ago, she was transferred into the dementia unit of the same nursing home since she can't live on her own. its been a very emotionally and physically draining few months.

we got alot done at the apartment, but not everything. we sold a few things, donated alot, and gave some stuff away. i took a few of my dads quilts to finish for him. we're storing a bunch of stuff at my sisters house in the meantime. other than the garbage we put out at my parents house on thursday, i never made it back. that will be saved for the next trip. i still need to grab a few things, then help clean so the house can sell. anyone need a 6 bedroom house in erie on 3 lots?

after more cleaning on sunday, we were finally able to spend some time with my mom and my dad. we took her up to visit him and i think that helped both of them. he was in good spirits so i snapped a pic of them for each of their rooms. he insisted on taking off his oxygen tube, so its the first pic in a long time without it.



we stopped in one last time with penny on sunday before making the trip back to pittsburgh. my dad asked what we were doing after he went to dinner and i told him we had to drive back. he looked a little choked up and then said "i don't know what i'd do without you guys." lets just say most of my drive home was spent wiping tears from my eyes.


i think i need to start a new knitting project this week to take my mind off things. that or hitting the gym. just.... something.