5 years. some days it seems like yesterday, some days it feels like forever.
i wish i had been able to say goodbye to you. i know we talked every day, but i always thought there would be one more. that day... i have a lot of guilt associated with it. for telling you about mother. for burdening you with her confusion. for quite possibly giving you the reason to let go. i'm so sorry for that being your last memory of her.
i miss you every day. those last few months with you meant so much to me, being able to drive to erie and spend the day and talk. i hated that we had to sell the house and move mother into sarah reed, but she was very well taken care of. she asked about you a lot... i think thats one thing she always remembered. penny and i were with her when she passed, and we told her that you were waiting for her. she wasn't in pain... she finally seemed like herself again. she didn't talk, but i think she knew we were there.
some days its really hard not having you and mother here. to be honest, i still have your number in my phone. and while i know the number has been disconnected, i just can't erase it. i miss talking to you and asking you what you had for lunch. the past few weeks ive had a bad cold that i just can't shake... all i really want to do is go back home and lie on the couch with the "sick" blanket and watch days of our lives with you while mother keeps making me tea and toast. i miss both of you a lot.
there are certain memories that stand out... they're fuzzy, but they're still there. i remember the one time in the middle of the night that i was sick... maybe i was 4 or 5, and my bed was ruined. you got me out of bed and cleaned me off in the tub. i remember standing under the water and being so weak i could barely stand. i remember the time i was roller skating on our gravel road and fell and cut my leg. you helped me into the house to clean off my leg and i fainted. that was only one of the many times ;) and i remember when you walked into the kitchen with your thumb bleeding, after you cut part of it off with the rototiller. for some reason, i always thought it was composter, until i got a composter and realized that didnt make sense. you taught me how to ride a bike and how to play baseball. you also taught me how to crochet (even tho i really prefer knitting now). remember that time you "walked off the roof"?? i was the only one home and didn't hear you calling for awhile. you were on some pretty goofy painkillers after that. i remember you used to get so mad when i mowed crazy patterns into the yard.
some days i worry that at some point, i'm going to start forgetting things about you.
there was a lot of loss the past few years, but there was a silver lining after all of our sadness. 3 years ago, ian and i had a beautiful baby girl. we named her london marie. she has sanford eyes, curly red hair, and she's left handed. daddy, she reminds me so much of you... especially when she smiles. she is very spirited, and really sweet. her favorite song right now is mary had a little lamb. you would've loved her so much.
ian is a wonderful father and husband. i hold him to a very high standard :) he takes great care of us and i can just see how much he loves us in his day to day actions. he helped to take really good care of mother (and aunt lois too), and was always supportive. i'm really lucky to have him.
we moved into a new house a few months ago... its a ranch house on 1.3 acres of wooded land. you would love it! i still have all of your old house plan books from the 60s, which we reference often. i think you would be really proud of both us for the home that we're building together. the house came with 2 outdoor cats (we named them chairman meow & mr kittens), and a family of deer. it reminds me of grandmas "farm" and when we used to go camping.
today, i think you were looking down on me. going into work, someone was holding the door for a group of people and someone said "you're a gentlemen and a scholar". i had a meeting over lunch and the food served at the photo studio was prime rib. oh, you and your story of eating 3 prime ribs and 2 plates of fried smelt :)
i know you wanted to outlive grandpa, but only made it to 80. i have to say, you still had a pretty awesome life. you were a loving husband, father and son. and you're missed every single day. i love you daddy, i hope you and mommy are finally at peace.
love always, aimee
ps. they got off the island.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Monday, October 08, 2012
progress
the big news? we moved (august 18)! we sold our house (august 30)!
the bad (good?) news? we've been SUPER BUSY. No sleep busy. well, not quite that busy, but we are both exhausted.
after all the planning we did in the last post, its all starting to fall into place. before the big move, we had a lot to get done. we finished all of the major demo on the house (porch/new kitchen, living room, dining room, 2nd bathroom, master bedroom closets, and various other spots throughout the house). ian framed in for the new windows in the kitchen, office, living room + master bedroom, along with framing in for all the pocket doors. he also installed the new sliding glass doors in the kitchen and master bedroom, repaired all of the walls, drywalled the new kitchen, framed + drywalled our office closet, and built the new "dividing wall" in the master bedroom... making the space for the new master bath.
we outsourced the drywall finishing, due to timing and our desire for flat, smooth walls :) we also outsourced the retaining wall in the back of the house. the existing railroad ties were rotting + filled with carpenter bees, so we had those taken away and replaced with boulders. our landscaper even built our last minute request for steps that went nowhere :)
we rented a floor sander and removed the brown paint from the entire house, and after much trial and error, ended up with beautifully grey-ed pine floors. (since then sydney has scratched them horribly... but... we knew it would eventually happen).
the interior of the house is painted white, with 2 accent walls: a grey one in london's room, and a black one on the fireplace wall in the living room.
MOVING DAY!! 2 trips, 1 car accident, and many boston creme donuts later, we had a house full of boxes.
(after the official "move" we spent the next week and a half cleaning up the old house, packing up the remaining items, and closing on the house.) YAY!
fast forward 1 1/2 months...
we've made alot of progress on the kitchen: i built the cabinets and ian installed them. he also ran the gas line into the kitchen and hooked up the stove, so we've been able to do more than just grill :) we installed the butcher block countertop and put in all the drawers and door fronts. our new kitchen is the old porch, so it has a concrete slab floor. ian had to jackhammer out a hole for the new plumbing, and crawl under the house and dig thru the dirt to run the pipes. crossing my fingers that we'll have a sink installed in the next few weeks :)
we tiled + grouted the laundry room and ian finished running the necessary electrical work, vented the dryer and hooked up the new washer + dryer. i had never been so excited to do laundry!
our special order doors and windows arrived a few weeks ago, just in time for the chilly weather. our goal was to get the "new" windows installed, since we only have a thin layer of wood protecting us from the elements. ian has installed all of those (with the exception of the 2 sidelights to the sliding door that we still need to order). the house is already transformed with natural light filling the space. ian plans to tackle one "replacement" window an evening. we still need to decide on the final size and type of window for the kitchen "backsplash". we had originally planned for it to be a large picture window, but now i'm thinking a slider would be great for cross-ventilation.
alongside all of these improvements, we've started to work on the main bathroom. i gutted the bathroom before we moved in; however, when we pulled up the flooring, we realized the subfloor was in such bad shape, and ian had to replace it. since then, he's framed in the side of the wall where the plumbing will be, and installed the tub. while he was under the house running the kitchen plumbing, he moved all the plumbing for this bathroom too.
at this point i feel like i should be posting some "after" or "progress" photos... but... to be honest, i just don't have the time! i've been dealing with a bad cold for the past few weeks and that in itself is slowing down our progress. along with our almost 3 year old who now refused to nap on weekends ;)
give me a few weeks... hopefully then i'll have some photo reveals :)
the bad (good?) news? we've been SUPER BUSY. No sleep busy. well, not quite that busy, but we are both exhausted.
after all the planning we did in the last post, its all starting to fall into place. before the big move, we had a lot to get done. we finished all of the major demo on the house (porch/new kitchen, living room, dining room, 2nd bathroom, master bedroom closets, and various other spots throughout the house). ian framed in for the new windows in the kitchen, office, living room + master bedroom, along with framing in for all the pocket doors. he also installed the new sliding glass doors in the kitchen and master bedroom, repaired all of the walls, drywalled the new kitchen, framed + drywalled our office closet, and built the new "dividing wall" in the master bedroom... making the space for the new master bath.
we outsourced the drywall finishing, due to timing and our desire for flat, smooth walls :) we also outsourced the retaining wall in the back of the house. the existing railroad ties were rotting + filled with carpenter bees, so we had those taken away and replaced with boulders. our landscaper even built our last minute request for steps that went nowhere :)
we rented a floor sander and removed the brown paint from the entire house, and after much trial and error, ended up with beautifully grey-ed pine floors. (since then sydney has scratched them horribly... but... we knew it would eventually happen).
the interior of the house is painted white, with 2 accent walls: a grey one in london's room, and a black one on the fireplace wall in the living room.
MOVING DAY!! 2 trips, 1 car accident, and many boston creme donuts later, we had a house full of boxes.
(after the official "move" we spent the next week and a half cleaning up the old house, packing up the remaining items, and closing on the house.) YAY!
fast forward 1 1/2 months...
we've made alot of progress on the kitchen: i built the cabinets and ian installed them. he also ran the gas line into the kitchen and hooked up the stove, so we've been able to do more than just grill :) we installed the butcher block countertop and put in all the drawers and door fronts. our new kitchen is the old porch, so it has a concrete slab floor. ian had to jackhammer out a hole for the new plumbing, and crawl under the house and dig thru the dirt to run the pipes. crossing my fingers that we'll have a sink installed in the next few weeks :)
we tiled + grouted the laundry room and ian finished running the necessary electrical work, vented the dryer and hooked up the new washer + dryer. i had never been so excited to do laundry!
our special order doors and windows arrived a few weeks ago, just in time for the chilly weather. our goal was to get the "new" windows installed, since we only have a thin layer of wood protecting us from the elements. ian has installed all of those (with the exception of the 2 sidelights to the sliding door that we still need to order). the house is already transformed with natural light filling the space. ian plans to tackle one "replacement" window an evening. we still need to decide on the final size and type of window for the kitchen "backsplash". we had originally planned for it to be a large picture window, but now i'm thinking a slider would be great for cross-ventilation.
alongside all of these improvements, we've started to work on the main bathroom. i gutted the bathroom before we moved in; however, when we pulled up the flooring, we realized the subfloor was in such bad shape, and ian had to replace it. since then, he's framed in the side of the wall where the plumbing will be, and installed the tub. while he was under the house running the kitchen plumbing, he moved all the plumbing for this bathroom too.
at this point i feel like i should be posting some "after" or "progress" photos... but... to be honest, i just don't have the time! i've been dealing with a bad cold for the past few weeks and that in itself is slowing down our progress. along with our almost 3 year old who now refused to nap on weekends ;)
give me a few weeks... hopefully then i'll have some photo reveals :)
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
cooking, sleeping, bathing.
my 2 full time jobs are mom and art director. followed closely by interior decorator/architect/master budgeter. one of the pressing issues with "picking up the pace" is that we have to make alot of decisions to continue working. so while ian is working and london is sleeping, i am planning. here's what we have so far!
kitchen...
i think the people in the kitchen department at ikea might hate us. or see us coming, and think... them again?? on every single trip over the last few months, we've been pestering them about the new cabinets they are getting in this year, with the answer "we dont know that". well, persistence paid off. we found out they are going to be getting the cabinet door "sofielund" in mid-august. great news!! i had accidentally stumbled across this door style a month ago online, but didn't realize i was looking at an australian/asian catalog. (i was a little tired at the moment). i was so excited, sent links to ian, then realized... OOPS. this isn't in the US!! but now it is!! here's a pic from that catalog:
we'll be pairing these with a dark countertop and silver/glass front cabinets, stainless appliances, brushed hardware, and a concrete floor. still undecided on the ceiling... drywall, wood planks? this is where our kitchen plans are at the moment:
a little explaining might be needed :) ... the 2 black pantries to the left will be painted w/chalkboard paint for lists and doodles. (i hate the chalk mess, so we intend to use chalk markers). the horizontal glass front cabinets will have a hanging wooden shelf below (where i had to sub in metal shelves), with the range hood in between. above those glass front cabinets, we're thinking of "resting" a thicker wood shelf on top of those, sticking out a little deeper. the pantry to the right of the fridge is for cleaning supplies, swiffers, etc. the island is a little off on placement right now, and the "table part" should be a little bit longer (long enough for 2 stools on each side). that will be where we drink coffee, make cookies, and color. and, last but not least, the under counter wine fridge will be used for fancy beers :)
master bedroom...
this has been my biggest struggle. the master bedroom was roughly 18 x 17. pretty big, almost TOO big to be useable. we knew we wanted a sliding glass door/wall of windows/lots of light coming in from the back yard. we also knew we wanted to demo the closets, due to small doors and poor design. i would also like to vault the ceiling and add skylights, but that is still up for discussion :). the master bath is 8x8, which was also proving to be an awkward space... every design i came up with seemed like wasted space in the middle.
so, last night, ian had a brilliant idea. what if we turned the bathroom into a walk in closet, and build a master bath where the closets were? after a little sketching, i think this is proving to be the best use of our space.
before:
proposed "after":
both the bathroom and closet will have sliding pocket doors. the closet will have built-in "wardrobes" on each side (similar to our current closet). back wall will have mirrors and knobs to hang things up.
the bathroom...well... maybe its a little excessive? what we have here is an open shower, separated by a glass partition. there is also a soaking tub :) this may be a clawfoot tub, but i'm not sure if we'll be able to find one (or if that even goes with the style of the house). everything else is pretty standard... double sink, toilet, closet, etc. i have the shower wall built out a few inches to incorporate a built-in shelf for shampoo, etc. we also have a warming towel rack to hang on the far side of the shower.
the bedroom itself still feels pretty roomy with a queen sized bed in it. we have room for our 2 dressers, dog bed, and possibly a chest at the foot of the bed if we ever want one. probably have room for a cozy chair too! on the wall dividing the bedroom/bathroom, we're thinking of installing frosted transom windows right below the ceiling. we still need to decide what we're doing for the wall of windows/doors (expansive sliding glass doors are ridiculously expensive), but i think we're in a good starting place.
any thoughts/comments on our grand plans?? :)
kitchen...
i think the people in the kitchen department at ikea might hate us. or see us coming, and think... them again?? on every single trip over the last few months, we've been pestering them about the new cabinets they are getting in this year, with the answer "we dont know that". well, persistence paid off. we found out they are going to be getting the cabinet door "sofielund" in mid-august. great news!! i had accidentally stumbled across this door style a month ago online, but didn't realize i was looking at an australian/asian catalog. (i was a little tired at the moment). i was so excited, sent links to ian, then realized... OOPS. this isn't in the US!! but now it is!! here's a pic from that catalog:
we'll be pairing these with a dark countertop and silver/glass front cabinets, stainless appliances, brushed hardware, and a concrete floor. still undecided on the ceiling... drywall, wood planks? this is where our kitchen plans are at the moment:
a little explaining might be needed :) ... the 2 black pantries to the left will be painted w/chalkboard paint for lists and doodles. (i hate the chalk mess, so we intend to use chalk markers). the horizontal glass front cabinets will have a hanging wooden shelf below (where i had to sub in metal shelves), with the range hood in between. above those glass front cabinets, we're thinking of "resting" a thicker wood shelf on top of those, sticking out a little deeper. the pantry to the right of the fridge is for cleaning supplies, swiffers, etc. the island is a little off on placement right now, and the "table part" should be a little bit longer (long enough for 2 stools on each side). that will be where we drink coffee, make cookies, and color. and, last but not least, the under counter wine fridge will be used for fancy beers :)
master bedroom...
this has been my biggest struggle. the master bedroom was roughly 18 x 17. pretty big, almost TOO big to be useable. we knew we wanted a sliding glass door/wall of windows/lots of light coming in from the back yard. we also knew we wanted to demo the closets, due to small doors and poor design. i would also like to vault the ceiling and add skylights, but that is still up for discussion :). the master bath is 8x8, which was also proving to be an awkward space... every design i came up with seemed like wasted space in the middle.
so, last night, ian had a brilliant idea. what if we turned the bathroom into a walk in closet, and build a master bath where the closets were? after a little sketching, i think this is proving to be the best use of our space.
before:
proposed "after":
both the bathroom and closet will have sliding pocket doors. the closet will have built-in "wardrobes" on each side (similar to our current closet). back wall will have mirrors and knobs to hang things up.
the bathroom...well... maybe its a little excessive? what we have here is an open shower, separated by a glass partition. there is also a soaking tub :) this may be a clawfoot tub, but i'm not sure if we'll be able to find one (or if that even goes with the style of the house). everything else is pretty standard... double sink, toilet, closet, etc. i have the shower wall built out a few inches to incorporate a built-in shelf for shampoo, etc. we also have a warming towel rack to hang on the far side of the shower.
the bedroom itself still feels pretty roomy with a queen sized bed in it. we have room for our 2 dressers, dog bed, and possibly a chest at the foot of the bed if we ever want one. probably have room for a cozy chair too! on the wall dividing the bedroom/bathroom, we're thinking of installing frosted transom windows right below the ceiling. we still need to decide what we're doing for the wall of windows/doors (expansive sliding glass doors are ridiculously expensive), but i think we're in a good starting place.
any thoughts/comments on our grand plans?? :)
Sunday, July 08, 2012
picking up the pace.
i thought we were moving as fast as we could when we first bought the house. We started on the remodeling, and continued getting Riverview ready to sell. Things were going well... We completed a lot of demo work and Ian framed in some of the new walls. We had previously planned a summer vacation, so 3 weeks ago, we went on a family vacation to Acadia National Park in Maine. The day we returned, we immediately jumped back into things.
i had been terrified about buying a house before selling our house, mostly due to the fact that i didn't think anyone would actually buy our house! as luck would have it, we listed it last Friday. on Saturday, i got the call that we had viewers coming over in a hour. on Sunday night, we had our offer. by Monday, everything was under agreement and our house is now Contingent on the home inspection... which happened this past Thursday. 3 days!! our closing is set for August 31. that gives us roughly 1.5 months to get Sky Oak move in ready. and we have A LOT to do.
we've come up with the "master list" of what we need to accomplish before we can move in with London. we lived at Riverview while remodeling and its doable, but not with a toddler. we need to get all of the demo + dirty work out of the way. with the goal of moving in the weekend of August 18th, here is our working list...
- frame new windows + doors
- order new windows
- install sliding glass doors in kitchen & master bedroom
- demo master closet (done!)
- remove wall between dining room & new kitchen
- finish running new electric
- patch + finish drywall
- piece in floor
- refinish floors (sand, stain, poly)
- repair tub in master bath (done!)
- demo 2nd bath / start remodel / install new tub
- have AC / heat installed
- clean, clean, clean
i've made our master calendar of what needs to be done by when, and how we can possibly accomplish this while working full time and having a very active 2 1/2 year old that we can't bring up there. this basically means that Ian is on his own! Just kidding. I'm hoping we can alternate a few week nights here and there, and ian's parents have been great helping out with London on a few weekends.
after the move, we'll slow down the pace a little bit (so we actually see each other). the first major projects after the move will be:
- finish remodel of 2nd bathroom
- install new kitchen
- install all windows
- install all the new doors
- install our new closets
- paint
and then when all of that is done:
- demo / remodel master bath
- update laundry room
- new front walkway
- new back patio/deck
- remodel old kitchen > new bedroom
- new driveway
- remodel the exterior / landscaping
EASY PEASY!
:)
(remodeling photos hopefully in the next post... )
i had been terrified about buying a house before selling our house, mostly due to the fact that i didn't think anyone would actually buy our house! as luck would have it, we listed it last Friday. on Saturday, i got the call that we had viewers coming over in a hour. on Sunday night, we had our offer. by Monday, everything was under agreement and our house is now Contingent on the home inspection... which happened this past Thursday. 3 days!! our closing is set for August 31. that gives us roughly 1.5 months to get Sky Oak move in ready. and we have A LOT to do.
we've come up with the "master list" of what we need to accomplish before we can move in with London. we lived at Riverview while remodeling and its doable, but not with a toddler. we need to get all of the demo + dirty work out of the way. with the goal of moving in the weekend of August 18th, here is our working list...
- frame new windows + doors
- order new windows
- install sliding glass doors in kitchen & master bedroom
- demo master closet (done!)
- remove wall between dining room & new kitchen
- finish running new electric
- patch + finish drywall
- piece in floor
- refinish floors (sand, stain, poly)
- repair tub in master bath (done!)
- demo 2nd bath / start remodel / install new tub
- have AC / heat installed
- clean, clean, clean
i've made our master calendar of what needs to be done by when, and how we can possibly accomplish this while working full time and having a very active 2 1/2 year old that we can't bring up there. this basically means that Ian is on his own! Just kidding. I'm hoping we can alternate a few week nights here and there, and ian's parents have been great helping out with London on a few weekends.
after the move, we'll slow down the pace a little bit (so we actually see each other). the first major projects after the move will be:
- finish remodel of 2nd bathroom
- install new kitchen
- install all windows
- install all the new doors
- install our new closets
- paint
and then when all of that is done:
- demo / remodel master bath
- update laundry room
- new front walkway
- new back patio/deck
- remodel old kitchen > new bedroom
- new driveway
- remodel the exterior / landscaping
EASY PEASY!
:)
(remodeling photos hopefully in the next post... )
Sunday, June 17, 2012
from the beginning...
after 2+ years of looking for a house/land, we got this email from our realtor (fwd from the listing agent) on Monday, April 9th:
i especially love the PS.
Our offer was accepted Monday April 16th, and we closed on Friday, May 25th.
PHEW!!! it was a whirlwind adventure, and we've been moving nonstop since then. right now, we're dividing our time/resources between getting Sky Oak demo'd/remodeled/move-in-ready and getting Riverview packed up and listed to sell. having a 2.5 year old toddler that is terrified of packing tape doesn't make that easy!
this is our new schedule: a few nights a week, ian heads up to Sky Oak to work for a few hours, and spends the night on the luxurious air mattress. he travels up there early on saturday morning, usually by 7am and works until around 7pm and heads home. we have dinner and relax for the night. sunday mornings we do an early brunch, and we both pack up our vehicles with boxes. i'll head up a shortly after he does and bring london so she can get used to the new house... but unfortunately its not safe for her to stay for too long. this past weekend, she surprisingly took a nap on the air mattress, allowing ian + i to chat about the renovations and move boxes into the garage. he works all day sunday and spends the night up there. while he's working on Sky Oak, i'm working on packing up/fixing little things at Riverview. good times. i have a feeling that this schedule is going to get even worse in the upcoming weeks as we need to get more stuff done.
i have to keep reminding myself that it will all be worth it in the end. i just hope the end is sooner than later :)
and now... here are a few "before" photos for those who are curious what this place looks like!
Exterior Front:
exterior back/yard:
exterior front:
living room:
living room/towards bedroom:
living room view from dining room:
dining room looking into nook + kitchen:
dining room:
master bedroom:
"BEFORE" floorplan:
"AFTER" proposed floorplan:
FW: New UGLY listing coming up
Hello you all. I'm listing a propearty in Bradford Woods at XXX. It's a 1600 sq. ft ranch on a private road. The home next door is $900,000 piece of property. Needs a lot of tlc but it is in Bradford Woods and even if someone tore it down and put up a new one it could work. The house is vacant and the key is at my office on the desk, in the file. Please feel free to pick it up and take a look. Please don't make me do an open house there.
PS> I have a phone number for a demolition crew.
i especially love the PS.
Our offer was accepted Monday April 16th, and we closed on Friday, May 25th.
PHEW!!! it was a whirlwind adventure, and we've been moving nonstop since then. right now, we're dividing our time/resources between getting Sky Oak demo'd/remodeled/move-in-ready and getting Riverview packed up and listed to sell. having a 2.5 year old toddler that is terrified of packing tape doesn't make that easy!
this is our new schedule: a few nights a week, ian heads up to Sky Oak to work for a few hours, and spends the night on the luxurious air mattress. he travels up there early on saturday morning, usually by 7am and works until around 7pm and heads home. we have dinner and relax for the night. sunday mornings we do an early brunch, and we both pack up our vehicles with boxes. i'll head up a shortly after he does and bring london so she can get used to the new house... but unfortunately its not safe for her to stay for too long. this past weekend, she surprisingly took a nap on the air mattress, allowing ian + i to chat about the renovations and move boxes into the garage. he works all day sunday and spends the night up there. while he's working on Sky Oak, i'm working on packing up/fixing little things at Riverview. good times. i have a feeling that this schedule is going to get even worse in the upcoming weeks as we need to get more stuff done.
i have to keep reminding myself that it will all be worth it in the end. i just hope the end is sooner than later :)
and now... here are a few "before" photos for those who are curious what this place looks like!
Exterior Front:
exterior back/yard:
exterior front:
living room:
living room/towards bedroom:
living room view from dining room:
dining room looking into nook + kitchen:
dining room:
master bedroom:
"BEFORE" floorplan:
"AFTER" proposed floorplan:
Thursday, May 31, 2012
home
memorial day weekend, 2012. this will be the weekend we remember as the new beginning.
the start of making a house into our new home.
i bought our house on riverview on august 26, 2003. many years of blood, sweat and tears. and more tears. and laughter and smiles. the house holds a lot of memories... good and bad. i will always remember ian's candlelight proposal :) and our "firsts" with london. her first days, her first steps, her first smiles. we loved the house, and we put so much work into remodeling (its beautiful!), but we always knew it was never "home".
1 week into owning Sky Oak? i can say without question that it already feels more like home. it feels comfortable. i can envision our future there. i can envision our life there. birthdays, christmases, every day occasions... london riding her bike around the "great room". baking cookies in the non existent kitchen. watching the stars on the yet to be built back patio.
it will be a good home for our great life.
stay tuned for the progress report.
the start of making a house into our new home.
i bought our house on riverview on august 26, 2003. many years of blood, sweat and tears. and more tears. and laughter and smiles. the house holds a lot of memories... good and bad. i will always remember ian's candlelight proposal :) and our "firsts" with london. her first days, her first steps, her first smiles. we loved the house, and we put so much work into remodeling (its beautiful!), but we always knew it was never "home".
1 week into owning Sky Oak? i can say without question that it already feels more like home. it feels comfortable. i can envision our future there. i can envision our life there. birthdays, christmases, every day occasions... london riding her bike around the "great room". baking cookies in the non existent kitchen. watching the stars on the yet to be built back patio.
it will be a good home for our great life.
stay tuned for the progress report.
Sunday, January 01, 2012
looking back.
posting has been pretty rare for me. its not that i don't have anything to say... but finding the time is hard.
this time of year (and this year especially) my mind is spinning. so many thoughts. reflection, resolution, clarity. whatever you want to call it.
the transition of becoming a parent and losing a parent? its harder than you think. london is now 2 years old, but i'm still becoming a parent. i learn more every day. and the 2 parents i want to learn from? they're gone. i'm winging it. i'm trying to remember what they taught me... how i was raised. what made me who i am. unfortunately, all of that changed when i lost them. that changes you. and no one gets that. i feel like i talk about it alot, that at this point... i'm sure everyone is thinking "we get it aimee. you miss your parents". but you know what? its so much more than that. i miss them every day. thats an obvious understatement. but not having parents? watching your mom die in front of you? imagining how your dad took his last breath? those are the turning points in your life that change you.
it changes everything about you.
how you laugh, how you smile, how your eyes never see the same again.
everything becomes "what if" and "why didn't i do more". you hold onto specific moments and re-create them in your head over and over. and i know, after time, those re-creations will slowly change, and i won't be able to remember. but thats all i have... those fleeting memories.
and then i think more about my life, ian, london. i wonder if i'll be an amazing mom and wife. i'm trying (but i need to try harder). i need to worry less and enjoy time with them more. i'm still trying to balance life, work, and me time. right now work is winning... with little-to-no me time. i want to get back into photography, sewing, cooking. the things i used to do when i "worked" from home. i dont remember when the change happened... was it working full time again, having a baby, or just getting older. do i just not have the energy? am i really just lazy? whatever it is, it needs to change. i need to try harder and do more. not just for me, but for london and ian.
i want more and i want less. i want more time and experiences, i want less "stuff". with most people i know, its always "more, more, more". more clothes, more furniture, more electronics, always getting the newest version of what you already have. and that includes me and ian. sometimes it makes sense. sometimes you need a new toaster oven. but when we have a storage space storing "stuff that we need".... if we need it so much, why aren't we using it? do we have too much stuff for the space that we have, or is our space too small? we're trying to figure that out. we've been looking for a new house for over 2 years. during that time, we decided to start looking for land, so we could build our perfect house. i'm hoping that happens in the next year, but i also hope that WHEN it happens, we pare down what we have > what we need > what we actually want.
this year i'll turn 39, so i can't say if this is a mid-life crisis or not. i hope not... because i'm really hoping i'll live past 78. but i keep thinking, at this age i should know what i want and who i am. i'm no longer the urban sophisticate i tried so hard to be at 28. i'm not really a soccer mom. i can't say that we (yes, ian too) are the green urban hipsters that we sometimes think we are. when will i figure this out? when i'm 40? i feel like everything has changed in the past few years. i became a mom, but i also became a caregiver from afar. i learned about priorities and responsibilities. i learned about unconditional love and humility. i learned about loss. and that you can't take anything for granted.
goodbye 2011. 2012 has promise... promise for remembering without crying, finding myself, and becoming the mom and wife that my parents taught me to become. i'm ready for it.
this time of year (and this year especially) my mind is spinning. so many thoughts. reflection, resolution, clarity. whatever you want to call it.
the transition of becoming a parent and losing a parent? its harder than you think. london is now 2 years old, but i'm still becoming a parent. i learn more every day. and the 2 parents i want to learn from? they're gone. i'm winging it. i'm trying to remember what they taught me... how i was raised. what made me who i am. unfortunately, all of that changed when i lost them. that changes you. and no one gets that. i feel like i talk about it alot, that at this point... i'm sure everyone is thinking "we get it aimee. you miss your parents". but you know what? its so much more than that. i miss them every day. thats an obvious understatement. but not having parents? watching your mom die in front of you? imagining how your dad took his last breath? those are the turning points in your life that change you.
it changes everything about you.
how you laugh, how you smile, how your eyes never see the same again.
everything becomes "what if" and "why didn't i do more". you hold onto specific moments and re-create them in your head over and over. and i know, after time, those re-creations will slowly change, and i won't be able to remember. but thats all i have... those fleeting memories.
and then i think more about my life, ian, london. i wonder if i'll be an amazing mom and wife. i'm trying (but i need to try harder). i need to worry less and enjoy time with them more. i'm still trying to balance life, work, and me time. right now work is winning... with little-to-no me time. i want to get back into photography, sewing, cooking. the things i used to do when i "worked" from home. i dont remember when the change happened... was it working full time again, having a baby, or just getting older. do i just not have the energy? am i really just lazy? whatever it is, it needs to change. i need to try harder and do more. not just for me, but for london and ian.
i want more and i want less. i want more time and experiences, i want less "stuff". with most people i know, its always "more, more, more". more clothes, more furniture, more electronics, always getting the newest version of what you already have. and that includes me and ian. sometimes it makes sense. sometimes you need a new toaster oven. but when we have a storage space storing "stuff that we need".... if we need it so much, why aren't we using it? do we have too much stuff for the space that we have, or is our space too small? we're trying to figure that out. we've been looking for a new house for over 2 years. during that time, we decided to start looking for land, so we could build our perfect house. i'm hoping that happens in the next year, but i also hope that WHEN it happens, we pare down what we have > what we need > what we actually want.
this year i'll turn 39, so i can't say if this is a mid-life crisis or not. i hope not... because i'm really hoping i'll live past 78. but i keep thinking, at this age i should know what i want and who i am. i'm no longer the urban sophisticate i tried so hard to be at 28. i'm not really a soccer mom. i can't say that we (yes, ian too) are the green urban hipsters that we sometimes think we are. when will i figure this out? when i'm 40? i feel like everything has changed in the past few years. i became a mom, but i also became a caregiver from afar. i learned about priorities and responsibilities. i learned about unconditional love and humility. i learned about loss. and that you can't take anything for granted.
goodbye 2011. 2012 has promise... promise for remembering without crying, finding myself, and becoming the mom and wife that my parents taught me to become. i'm ready for it.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
loss
i've posted very infrequently over the past 2 years... life has a way of taking over your free time, and with flickr + facebook, its always hard to find time to write a post.
but sometimes, you just need to write more than a status update.
it takes awhile to put those feelings into words. feelings of loss, abandonment, sadness. i feel like i've experienced my share of loss and pain over the past 4 years. when i lost my dad, i shut down emotionally and wrote about my pain. during the days he was in hospice, i prepared myself to be *with* him when he died, but i never really prepared myself for his death. i felt abandoned and helpless... losing the one parent that i could still talk to. i went into a winter hibernation and closed myself off.
in the 3 years since then, i developed a new relationship with my mom. over those years, the alzheimers slowly changed her, and she recognized me less and less. i also recognized her less and less. i would still visit, but on every drive back home to pittsburgh, i would cry over the loss of my mom. she was a woman that i didn't know anymore, and who very clearly didn't know me. i didn't get to ask her the questions i wanted to... she wasn't even speaking during the last months. i took london in to meet her; i honestly don't know if my mom knew she was holding her granddaughter or a doll, and that breaks my heart. i lost my only living grandmother when i was 5 years old, but i still have a few memories. london will never have that.
i lost my mother 1 month ago today. her death was very different than my fathers. even though he was in hospice, his death was sudden. we weren't there with him, and i still feel incredibly guilty that he was alone. on the day that my mom passed, i got the call that i should come to erie if i wanted to be with her. i left work and drove to erie thru a blur of tears. it was st. patricks day, and the sun was shining. it was strangely warm in erie. she finally looked like herself again... a very old version of the mom i used to know. i don't know if she knew i was there or not, but penny and i sat by her side, holding her hands. she had been "alone" for the past 3 years, i didn't want her to die alone and scared.
but i wasn't prepared for it. i can vividly remember how she looked, how she was breathing, and the tear rolling down her cheek as she took her last breath. i still wake up at night, remembering that clearly. her death. thats not what i want to remember. i want to remember more. i want to look back and remember the mom i knew when i was little. the mom that gardened, suntanned, and canned with my dad. the mom that made us our easter dresses every year. the mom that would have taught me how to raise a daughter. i wish i could remember more. i wish i had asked her more questions. i wish my mom knew she wasn't alone when she died. i wish there had been more time. i wish alzheimer's wasn't a hereditary disease.
i am 37 years old and i no longer have parents. i am, now, an orphaned adult.
i miss them.
but sometimes, you just need to write more than a status update.
it takes awhile to put those feelings into words. feelings of loss, abandonment, sadness. i feel like i've experienced my share of loss and pain over the past 4 years. when i lost my dad, i shut down emotionally and wrote about my pain. during the days he was in hospice, i prepared myself to be *with* him when he died, but i never really prepared myself for his death. i felt abandoned and helpless... losing the one parent that i could still talk to. i went into a winter hibernation and closed myself off.
in the 3 years since then, i developed a new relationship with my mom. over those years, the alzheimers slowly changed her, and she recognized me less and less. i also recognized her less and less. i would still visit, but on every drive back home to pittsburgh, i would cry over the loss of my mom. she was a woman that i didn't know anymore, and who very clearly didn't know me. i didn't get to ask her the questions i wanted to... she wasn't even speaking during the last months. i took london in to meet her; i honestly don't know if my mom knew she was holding her granddaughter or a doll, and that breaks my heart. i lost my only living grandmother when i was 5 years old, but i still have a few memories. london will never have that.
i lost my mother 1 month ago today. her death was very different than my fathers. even though he was in hospice, his death was sudden. we weren't there with him, and i still feel incredibly guilty that he was alone. on the day that my mom passed, i got the call that i should come to erie if i wanted to be with her. i left work and drove to erie thru a blur of tears. it was st. patricks day, and the sun was shining. it was strangely warm in erie. she finally looked like herself again... a very old version of the mom i used to know. i don't know if she knew i was there or not, but penny and i sat by her side, holding her hands. she had been "alone" for the past 3 years, i didn't want her to die alone and scared.
but i wasn't prepared for it. i can vividly remember how she looked, how she was breathing, and the tear rolling down her cheek as she took her last breath. i still wake up at night, remembering that clearly. her death. thats not what i want to remember. i want to remember more. i want to look back and remember the mom i knew when i was little. the mom that gardened, suntanned, and canned with my dad. the mom that made us our easter dresses every year. the mom that would have taught me how to raise a daughter. i wish i could remember more. i wish i had asked her more questions. i wish my mom knew she wasn't alone when she died. i wish there had been more time. i wish alzheimer's wasn't a hereditary disease.
i am 37 years old and i no longer have parents. i am, now, an orphaned adult.
i miss them.
Sunday, January 09, 2011
Friday, October 22, 2010
week (end) in new england
in october, we took our first family "vacation" with london. we flew to portland, maine... and then drove to the bar harbor area to meet ian's family for a week of relaxing. london did amazingly well on her first flight... she even got her wings!
while the weather was a little chilly, we still managed to do a lot of sightseeing, hiking + relaxing. we brought the bob jogging stroller and were able to navigate thru trails + rocky beaches:
sand beach:
seawall beach:
wonderland trail:
cadillac mountain:
check out flickr for more maine photos!
we had a great time, and traveling with london was so much easier than we thought. the main issue is the "planning" and worrying about carrying breast milk on the plane. everything went smoothly, and i'm already looking forward to (and starting to plan) our next trip :)
while the weather was a little chilly, we still managed to do a lot of sightseeing, hiking + relaxing. we brought the bob jogging stroller and were able to navigate thru trails + rocky beaches:
sand beach:
seawall beach:
wonderland trail:
cadillac mountain:
check out flickr for more maine photos!
we had a great time, and traveling with london was so much easier than we thought. the main issue is the "planning" and worrying about carrying breast milk on the plane. everything went smoothly, and i'm already looking forward to (and starting to plan) our next trip :)
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
and.... we're back. maybe.
it was pointed out to me this afternoon that i have been very MIA when it comes to updating the blog. i've posted, what... 4 times in the past year. i do have my excuses, 1 to be exact :)
the little lady is now 5 1/2 months old and i'm very overdue in sharing photos and stories. it has been a whirlwind. my 12 weeks of maternity were a wonderful experience, spending everyday with london. after wanting this for so long, its been so much more than i ever expected. i can't remember when i wasn't a "mom". i could go on, but i'll save the sappiness for myself :)
in the meantime, i'll share some photos of how she's grown:
40 minutes after delivery (19 hours of fun!):
about 2 weeks old:
christmas eve:
chillin' in the park:
easter basket:
london + ian:
and now we're kinda up-to-date :)
the little lady is now 5 1/2 months old and i'm very overdue in sharing photos and stories. it has been a whirlwind. my 12 weeks of maternity were a wonderful experience, spending everyday with london. after wanting this for so long, its been so much more than i ever expected. i can't remember when i wasn't a "mom". i could go on, but i'll save the sappiness for myself :)
in the meantime, i'll share some photos of how she's grown:
40 minutes after delivery (19 hours of fun!):
about 2 weeks old:
christmas eve:
chillin' in the park:
easter basket:
london + ian:
and now we're kinda up-to-date :)
Friday, December 04, 2009
london.
our beautiful baby girl is here...
london marie murphy
11.19.09, 4:12 pm
8 lbs, 20 inches
more posts + photos coming soon.
london is doing well, mom is recovering, and everyone needs a little sleep :)
london marie murphy
11.19.09, 4:12 pm
8 lbs, 20 inches
more posts + photos coming soon.
london is doing well, mom is recovering, and everyone needs a little sleep :)
Monday, November 16, 2009
the waiting game
here i am, 5 days past my due date... just waiting. and while i'm beyond excited to meet her, we've waited this long... i can keep on waiting until she's ready :)
photo from this weekend:
i'm sure i'll get some inappropriate comments, but you know what? i don't care :) i think i look amazing. we're both glowing. all of our hard work has paid off, and i'm proud of my body and our baby.
so for now, i'm just trying to keep busy. still working. still enjoying our time together. 2 weekends ago we went to frick park to enjoy the beautiful weather and snap a few shots before sunset. here's the belly in action, 4 days before our due date:
and a family photo:
also some more freezer paper onesies + homemade boppy cover (design matching shower invitations, and room theme):
now i just need to actually work on her quilt. its hard, i've made so many quilts that i've loved, that i feel like the one for our baby has to top those, design wise. its a lot of pressure! i will probably work on that during maternity leave, when i have the time and i can actually reach the sewing machine without her in the way ;) i'm going to do a modern quilt to match the nursery fabrics, possibly with some screen printing or bird stencils (a la boppy cover). then, i might do a vintage quilt. before my dad died, he gave me all of his quilting supplies and some pre-cut fabric squares. he even gave me all the pieces + patterns from my grandmother, so by vintage, i do mean "vintage". i think it will be sweet to give my baby a quilt from her grandparents...
i think its obvious to say at this point, i'm really missing my parents. i wish they were here for this. its so unfair, and i get so emotional now that we're getting so close. i've talked to my dad at the cemetery about this, which, well, isn't quite the same. my mom doesn't know who i am, let alone that i'm pregnant. its hard to go through this life changing event without my parents, but i am so lucky to have ian. he makes dinner, rubs my back... he even gives me pedicures. he's going to be a great dad :)
photo from this weekend:
i'm sure i'll get some inappropriate comments, but you know what? i don't care :) i think i look amazing. we're both glowing. all of our hard work has paid off, and i'm proud of my body and our baby.
so for now, i'm just trying to keep busy. still working. still enjoying our time together. 2 weekends ago we went to frick park to enjoy the beautiful weather and snap a few shots before sunset. here's the belly in action, 4 days before our due date:
and a family photo:
also some more freezer paper onesies + homemade boppy cover (design matching shower invitations, and room theme):
now i just need to actually work on her quilt. its hard, i've made so many quilts that i've loved, that i feel like the one for our baby has to top those, design wise. its a lot of pressure! i will probably work on that during maternity leave, when i have the time and i can actually reach the sewing machine without her in the way ;) i'm going to do a modern quilt to match the nursery fabrics, possibly with some screen printing or bird stencils (a la boppy cover). then, i might do a vintage quilt. before my dad died, he gave me all of his quilting supplies and some pre-cut fabric squares. he even gave me all the pieces + patterns from my grandmother, so by vintage, i do mean "vintage". i think it will be sweet to give my baby a quilt from her grandparents...
i think its obvious to say at this point, i'm really missing my parents. i wish they were here for this. its so unfair, and i get so emotional now that we're getting so close. i've talked to my dad at the cemetery about this, which, well, isn't quite the same. my mom doesn't know who i am, let alone that i'm pregnant. its hard to go through this life changing event without my parents, but i am so lucky to have ian. he makes dinner, rubs my back... he even gives me pedicures. he's going to be a great dad :)
Sunday, October 04, 2009
5 weeks and counting
5 posts in one year... thats kinda sad. in the back of my mind i'm always saying "yea, i need to update my blog", but i hadn't realized how infrequent it had been. i can't promise anything, but we'll see if i can start to get back into the swing of things.
the most obvious event to blog about is our pregnancy. maybe thats why i've been a little hesitant. i announced the good news in may, but didn't really give the back story or follow up on anything. we'll, i'm at 34 1/2 weeks, so we have about 5 1/2 weeks til the due date. for the most part, its been a fairly easy pregnancy. much easier than actually *getting* pregnant.
here we are at 32 weeks:
we had been trying for over a year and a half when i decided to see a fertility specialist. we were officially diagnosed with "unexplained infertility" back in july 2008. that was problem X that i would occasionally refer to in blog posts. we tried 3 cycles of medicated IUIs, with no luck. we tried another IUI with injectables and that didn't work. (at this point i should point out my extreme fear of needles and blood work. i was having bloodwork every week at this point, ian was giving me shots, it was no fun at all). after serious discussion, we decided to try IVF.
the process was much harder and stressful than i thought it would be. i was working FT and going to the doctor before work to get BW + ultrasounds done every other day. ian was giving me shots every night for about 2 weeks, and the 3rd week it was 2 shots a night. i remember laying on the couch one night after the shots, and a baby lotion commercial came on. i just started sobbing and asking how much more i could take. luckily, i responded well to the drugs and developed 13 eggs that were retrieved. 8 fertilized. 3 made it to the day of transfer. 1 little girl is on her way :) based on how hard it was to get pregnant, we kept things quiet for awhile. i'm technically considered "advanced maternal age" at 36. i've been terrified that something would go wrong this whole time. so its been a little hard to blog about. we wanted this for so long, and sometimes its hard to realize that it actually is happening.
everything is going well, and i'm feeling great (except for the nasty cold that just surfaced). we had our shower last weekend and we've been putting all the wonderful gifts in their respective places. i've been washing little blankets and baby clothes. and i've been knitting like crazy. baby sweaters are fun because they knit up quickly, and you can use stash yarn :)
offset wraplan, 3 months:
black cat hoodie:
i also made some freezer paper onesies:
she's already a rockstar :)
the most obvious event to blog about is our pregnancy. maybe thats why i've been a little hesitant. i announced the good news in may, but didn't really give the back story or follow up on anything. we'll, i'm at 34 1/2 weeks, so we have about 5 1/2 weeks til the due date. for the most part, its been a fairly easy pregnancy. much easier than actually *getting* pregnant.
here we are at 32 weeks:
we had been trying for over a year and a half when i decided to see a fertility specialist. we were officially diagnosed with "unexplained infertility" back in july 2008. that was problem X that i would occasionally refer to in blog posts. we tried 3 cycles of medicated IUIs, with no luck. we tried another IUI with injectables and that didn't work. (at this point i should point out my extreme fear of needles and blood work. i was having bloodwork every week at this point, ian was giving me shots, it was no fun at all). after serious discussion, we decided to try IVF.
the process was much harder and stressful than i thought it would be. i was working FT and going to the doctor before work to get BW + ultrasounds done every other day. ian was giving me shots every night for about 2 weeks, and the 3rd week it was 2 shots a night. i remember laying on the couch one night after the shots, and a baby lotion commercial came on. i just started sobbing and asking how much more i could take. luckily, i responded well to the drugs and developed 13 eggs that were retrieved. 8 fertilized. 3 made it to the day of transfer. 1 little girl is on her way :) based on how hard it was to get pregnant, we kept things quiet for awhile. i'm technically considered "advanced maternal age" at 36. i've been terrified that something would go wrong this whole time. so its been a little hard to blog about. we wanted this for so long, and sometimes its hard to realize that it actually is happening.
everything is going well, and i'm feeling great (except for the nasty cold that just surfaced). we had our shower last weekend and we've been putting all the wonderful gifts in their respective places. i've been washing little blankets and baby clothes. and i've been knitting like crazy. baby sweaters are fun because they knit up quickly, and you can use stash yarn :)
offset wraplan, 3 months:
black cat hoodie:
i also made some freezer paper onesies:
she's already a rockstar :)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
three.
i believe the unofficial 6 month hiatus is over. i'm back. enjoying the sun, outdoors, life. all that fun stuff.
and finally... some good news!
poor sydney and tan cat are going to have to share the spotlight with a new little murphy. this little one will be 14 weeks tomorrow. after all the heartache, it truly is a wonderful change in our lives. we've been struggling to make this happen for over 2 years now, and had to rely on modern medicine. i believe my fear of needles is slowly being resolved :)
i'm beginning to believe that maybe every cloud does have a silver lining....
and finally... some good news!
poor sydney and tan cat are going to have to share the spotlight with a new little murphy. this little one will be 14 weeks tomorrow. after all the heartache, it truly is a wonderful change in our lives. we've been struggling to make this happen for over 2 years now, and had to rely on modern medicine. i believe my fear of needles is slowly being resolved :)
i'm beginning to believe that maybe every cloud does have a silver lining....
Saturday, November 01, 2008
ohiopyling
this past month has been a busy one, and i haven't had the time to post. but, everytime i open up my homepage and see that photo of my dad from the last post... well, its just making me sad, so here goes a quick photo post of our adventures a few weeks ago.
in keeping with our "lets get out and enjoy this fall weather" we went to ohiopyle a few weekends ago. we both had been working heavily during the week, so it was really nice to get away, even if just for the day. it was a fun drive, even with the bad traffic, and the scenery was amazing. we stopped for coffee and had lunch, then made our way over to "downtown ohiopyle" to do a little hiking. we took sydney with us and she enjoyed herself too!
we crossed bridges:
we walked trails:
we hiked rocks + waterfalls:
i snuggled sydney:
and took closeups of ferns:
a good day was had by all. i doubt we'll get another nice (work-free) weekend anytime soon, so i'm happy that we had the chance for our tiny roadtrip. tomorrow we'll be doing a little road-tripping as we drive up to grove city to meet my mom, sister and nephew for lunch. i haven't seen my mom in quite a few weeks, so i appreciate that we're able to meet halfway on a busy weekend so i can spend some time with her.
tonight we're off to another halloween party, so i've got a little transformation to take care of. in the meantime, enjoy this photo of our last celebrated halloween, in 2006. (last year, well, lets just say there was no celebrating going on...)
as hard as i try, i just can't quit him. or his handlebar mustache. a girl has got to be pretty secure in her femininity to dress as a gay cowboy, but i think i rocked it. a few previous years on flickr as well :)
tonights outfit will be a little more dark. photos to follow.
in keeping with our "lets get out and enjoy this fall weather" we went to ohiopyle a few weekends ago. we both had been working heavily during the week, so it was really nice to get away, even if just for the day. it was a fun drive, even with the bad traffic, and the scenery was amazing. we stopped for coffee and had lunch, then made our way over to "downtown ohiopyle" to do a little hiking. we took sydney with us and she enjoyed herself too!
we crossed bridges:
we walked trails:
we hiked rocks + waterfalls:
i snuggled sydney:
and took closeups of ferns:
a good day was had by all. i doubt we'll get another nice (work-free) weekend anytime soon, so i'm happy that we had the chance for our tiny roadtrip. tomorrow we'll be doing a little road-tripping as we drive up to grove city to meet my mom, sister and nephew for lunch. i haven't seen my mom in quite a few weeks, so i appreciate that we're able to meet halfway on a busy weekend so i can spend some time with her.
tonight we're off to another halloween party, so i've got a little transformation to take care of. in the meantime, enjoy this photo of our last celebrated halloween, in 2006. (last year, well, lets just say there was no celebrating going on...)
as hard as i try, i just can't quit him. or his handlebar mustache. a girl has got to be pretty secure in her femininity to dress as a gay cowboy, but i think i rocked it. a few previous years on flickr as well :)
tonights outfit will be a little more dark. photos to follow.
Friday, October 10, 2008
we'll meet again
1 year can go by both quickly and slowly. its been that kind of year. as i've mentioned before, sometimes its the little things. while i miss my dad every day, sometimes, its one little thing that can hit you like a brick and either bring sadness or a smile. it can be the smell of concord grapes, hearing a song from his funeral on a random tv show, or something totally random that only he and i would know about.
theres this one dream that i repeatedly have had this past year, and this is the closest image i can find that matches how he appears. i'm always sitting in our old living room, in the wooden rocking chair, (maybe 2001-2002 ish) and he walks thru the front door wearing his olive green work clothes carrying a paper bag of groceries. no oxygen, no paleness, just healthy and tan. and the sun is shining.
theres not much i can say about today. just that i miss you terribly daddy.
10.10.2007
-------
We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when,
But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day.
Keep smiling through, just like you always do,
'Til the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away.
theres this one dream that i repeatedly have had this past year, and this is the closest image i can find that matches how he appears. i'm always sitting in our old living room, in the wooden rocking chair, (maybe 2001-2002 ish) and he walks thru the front door wearing his olive green work clothes carrying a paper bag of groceries. no oxygen, no paleness, just healthy and tan. and the sun is shining.
theres not much i can say about today. just that i miss you terribly daddy.
10.10.2007
-------
We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when,
But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day.
Keep smiling through, just like you always do,
'Til the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
2 years and counting
ah, so young... our first photo taken together, sometime in march 2002, during the first trip home to meet my parents.
on the morning of our wedding, ian had to pick up my dad's tux pants in monroeville and drop them off at our hotel. he also brought a dozen krispy kreme donuts (1 boston creme for me) and a hot tea from starbucks, because i had been nursing a horrible chest cold all week. its the little things. i still have that kk receipt, from 8:45am :)
happy 2 years ian :) here's to many more *clink clink*.
ETA: real anniversary photo to make up for ridiculous other photo.
on the morning of our wedding, ian had to pick up my dad's tux pants in monroeville and drop them off at our hotel. he also brought a dozen krispy kreme donuts (1 boston creme for me) and a hot tea from starbucks, because i had been nursing a horrible chest cold all week. its the little things. i still have that kk receipt, from 8:45am :)
happy 2 years ian :) here's to many more *clink clink*.
ETA: real anniversary photo to make up for ridiculous other photo.
Monday, October 06, 2008
a week in photos
fall is here... its my favorite time of year. i've been waiting months for it. the crispness of the air, the warming of the leaves, the smell of autumn. something you can't quite explain. a feeling that makes me want to trade in my iced tea for a warm latte in the morning, a summer beer for a glass of reisling, the tank tops for sweaters. this season has always been like the "new year" to me, when its time for a change. i'm ready for it.
we've decided to take the month of october off from any house remodeling. we basically took september off, but that doesn't count ;) we only have a few more things to finish up, so once we get back on track this winter, the house may be ready for the market in spring/early summer. we will see.
now with all this free time on our hands, we're trying to spend as much of it outside as possible, enjoying the weather and watching the leaves change. they're starting to, and just that brightens my outlook. i pretty much missed this whole season last year, so its nice to be able to enjoy it again. last weekend we went to oktoberfest at penn brewery. it was fun, but crazy crowded. ridiculously crowded. and the smell of sauerkraut everywhere. sunday morning we made croissants from trader joes, coffee, and headed out for errands and some open houses. we check out the swissvale houses for comparison (our house is looking very good compared to whats on the market), then we checked out some potential neighborhoods. we've visited forest hills, blackridge/churchill, mostly the east end/suburbs-ish areas. we'll continue to explore the areas... we've got time :)
this weekend was nice and very relaxing. i'm glad it warmed up a little bit too :) on saturday we had more errands to run, and made our way out towards monroeville. we headed a little further east, and went to schramm's farms for the start of their fall festival. we did some shopping at the market, and i was stopped in my tracks. i had walked by some concord grapes. wow... i was taken back to my parents house in erie, where we grew them in the backyard. my parents made their own grape jelly and grape juice, and the smell is so powerful. i had to buy some :) we strolled thru the pumpkin patch, picking out some winners that we'll carve later this month.
we ended the day at shady grove for some onion soup and sandwiches. i'm totally digging their website. very nice.
on sunday, ian ran our recycling over to construction junction, then we headed over to frick park with sydney for a long walk. its going to be beautiful in another week or 2, when the leaves are really changing.
after the walk, we took sydney to the self-serve dog wash in wilkinsburg. it was convenient, and timed, so we were able to wash her more quickly than in the tub at home. however, they don't say that the air-dryer is COLD. poor syd was whimpering the whole time, but we had to get her somewhat dry before getting back in the car. next time we'll bring towels and smocks. we got a little soaked.
the night was capped off, by, of course, marshmallow roasting outside. it was super chilly, but the fire was warm and the treats were tasty. and while i don't completely like this photo, i think it conveys the toasty warm feeling of the night.
in other news, tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. damn!
we've decided to take the month of october off from any house remodeling. we basically took september off, but that doesn't count ;) we only have a few more things to finish up, so once we get back on track this winter, the house may be ready for the market in spring/early summer. we will see.
now with all this free time on our hands, we're trying to spend as much of it outside as possible, enjoying the weather and watching the leaves change. they're starting to, and just that brightens my outlook. i pretty much missed this whole season last year, so its nice to be able to enjoy it again. last weekend we went to oktoberfest at penn brewery. it was fun, but crazy crowded. ridiculously crowded. and the smell of sauerkraut everywhere. sunday morning we made croissants from trader joes, coffee, and headed out for errands and some open houses. we check out the swissvale houses for comparison (our house is looking very good compared to whats on the market), then we checked out some potential neighborhoods. we've visited forest hills, blackridge/churchill, mostly the east end/suburbs-ish areas. we'll continue to explore the areas... we've got time :)
this weekend was nice and very relaxing. i'm glad it warmed up a little bit too :) on saturday we had more errands to run, and made our way out towards monroeville. we headed a little further east, and went to schramm's farms for the start of their fall festival. we did some shopping at the market, and i was stopped in my tracks. i had walked by some concord grapes. wow... i was taken back to my parents house in erie, where we grew them in the backyard. my parents made their own grape jelly and grape juice, and the smell is so powerful. i had to buy some :) we strolled thru the pumpkin patch, picking out some winners that we'll carve later this month.
we ended the day at shady grove for some onion soup and sandwiches. i'm totally digging their website. very nice.
on sunday, ian ran our recycling over to construction junction, then we headed over to frick park with sydney for a long walk. its going to be beautiful in another week or 2, when the leaves are really changing.
after the walk, we took sydney to the self-serve dog wash in wilkinsburg. it was convenient, and timed, so we were able to wash her more quickly than in the tub at home. however, they don't say that the air-dryer is COLD. poor syd was whimpering the whole time, but we had to get her somewhat dry before getting back in the car. next time we'll bring towels and smocks. we got a little soaked.
the night was capped off, by, of course, marshmallow roasting outside. it was super chilly, but the fire was warm and the treats were tasty. and while i don't completely like this photo, i think it conveys the toasty warm feeling of the night.
in other news, tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. damn!
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