not myself

sigh. its been a long month or so since i last wrote. i've been trying to keep myself busy with freelance jobs. and house stuff. we finally have started back up on the bathroom remodel, along with the linen closet. i framed in the closet over the weekend [just imagine this tiny powerhouse using a nail gun], while ian finished plumbing the bathroom and hanging tileboard. i helped him for a little bit... until part of the ceiling light/fan fixture fell off... directly onto my nose. the metal corner missing my eye by an inch. surprisingly, i did not drop the tile board. my nose is sore, i have a headache, and it makes me grumpy. i went back to drywall-ing the closet.

with it being the "holiday season", i've been sad. i try not to think about it, but with all the damn christmas music playing EVERYWHERE... its hard to ignore it. i feel numb, asleep... its not easy to explain, so i won't. i'm in a time of reflection, looking back on the distant and not-so-distant past. sometimes i don't feel like *me* anymore. i was looking back thru photos and i don't recognize myself anymore. i'm tired. i'm bored... with myself. i need a change, but i'm not sure what. maybe a change of scenery, maybe a haircut, new wardrobe, maybe a change within. i have no idea. i hope i know when i find it.

we had some beautiful weather last week. i was finally enjoying fall. we had lunch outside on wednsday! saturday morning i came downstairs to make some coffee and all the trees were bare. what happened to all the beautiful leaves?